Lets think about… small talk

There’s nothing small about small talk! 

Looking through the feedback forms from the Family Faith Adventure Days that have run so far this year, I came across this quote.   

‘Families came and ate together, lots of our volunteers’ only job was to chat with families. We have connections now with 2 families interested in finding community and are interested what church might look like for them.' Donna Meenagh Early Intervention Coordinator – Lisburn Cathedral 

I really loved how this team recognised the importance of having volunteers primed to come to the event just to talk to people. If we’re honest I guess most of us are more comfortable being given a job which involves a specific action, ‘putting out the chairs’, ‘peeling the potatoes’, ‘working the bbq’, ‘pouring the teas and coffees’, anything but being asked to make conversation with strangers, am I right?  In our fast-paced world, small talk often feels trivial. I wonder what springs to mind when you hear the term ‘small talk’, are you immediately transported to the hairdressers or barbers where you are subjected to an hour of painful inane conversation about holidays and the weather with no chance of escape?  Yep, me too!  However, as Christians welcoming children and families into our church activities, we can view small talk very differently. It’s a purposeful opportunity for connection, kindness, and curiosity. 

The Value of Small Talk 

Small talk does require a certain amount of vulnerability and risk.  We never really know how someone will respond but, it serves as a bridge in social interactions. It can break the ice, be playful, ease tension, and foster relationships.  In a community centred on love and fellowship, engaging in small talk is more than superficial meaningless banter, it reflects our commitment to building connections with others. Jesus often engaged with people in everyday situations—turning simple conversations into profound moments of connection.   

Open and Welcoming 

Small talk plays a huge role in making welcome meaningful. Simple questions like “How has your week been?” or “What do you do for fun?” can invite others to share their thoughts and feelings. This practice aligns with Romans 12:10, where we are called to "be devoted to one another in love."  It’s not always the easiest thing to do but it is such an essential ministry. 

Listening: The Heart of Connection 

Listening is just as important as speaking. When we genuinely listen, we honour the other person’s experiences and feelings. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” This attitude not only makes the other person feel valued but can also open doors for deeper conversations about faith and life. 

There really isn’t anything ‘small’ about ‘small talk’ in the context of welcome, it is an essential ministry. Every interaction is a chance to reflect Christ's love. Whether it’s a brief conversation with a mum in your Make Lunch Club or a teacher or child in the school where you coach, these moments can sow seeds of encouragement and faith. You never know how your words might impact someone’s day or lead them closer to Jesus.